Before explaining the true meaning of the title of this blog, I want to make it clear that this blog is for information purposes only. I am not giving any legal advice or forming a client-attorney relationship by providing you with any of this information. In many cases the information in this blog is generalized to give you a broad idea on the topic, but is not tailored to the specifics of any one case, and as we all know each divorce or family law issue is extremely unique and should be treated as such.
This blog will provide informative and entertaining articles that are focused on both divorce laws and issues and all aspects of Family Law. Whether you are obtaining a divorce from your spouse or dealing with some other issue in Family Court with an individual you have never been married to, I hope you will find the information helpful and informative.
Lastly, since HD Family Law represent clients in both the Courts of New York and New Jersey, most articles discuss the laws and approaches of both states, unless something earth shattering happens in one State, and even then I will try to explain how the other state might have handled the same issue for the benefit of the individuals reading from the other state.
So Now, Let’s Get to My Motto:
NOTHING SAYS A GOOD DAY LIKE A DIVORCE has been my motto since I found myself practicing Divorce and Family Law. I have it on magnets and say this to just about anyone that will listen. WAIT, maybe I should explain, as you are probably thinking this quack goes around suggesting that everyone should get divorced. She is probably one of those ultra-feminists who do not believe marriage is natural and does not value the sanctity of marriage or family.
Well, I’ll tell you that I am married, I have been for quite a long time, I have children, and am very much in love with my family and happy in my marriage (well, on most days). However, that being said, I do appreciate that sometimes in life we make mistakes. Marriage is hard and sometimes may feel unnatural, and that can be exacerbated by the fact that we signed a legal contract to enter into it. In most similar situations we are freely allowed to fix those mistakes, change our minds, and in fact are encouraged to “start over”. But, for some odd reason, when a person gets married that is not the case. We discuss divorce as if it something to be ashamed of. People tend to feel sorry for those around them for going through or getting a divorce. The legal system has made it extremely costly, lengthy, and difficult to get a divorce. We hear about the horror stories of divorces all of the time. Most of my clients still feel they cannot open up to family or friends about going through divorce so as not to be judged or ostracized, rather choosing to speak to a therapist or some other professional about what they are going through. Oftentimes, they choose HD Family Law to represent them because of our strong belief that we all make mistakes and should not be trapped in loveless and unhappy marriages, doomed to dealing with that mistake for the rest of our lives. In fact, statistically speaking, 51% of all marriages end in divorce.
Of course, we must think about how divorce impacts children, how it impacts our financial future, how it impacts the lives of our family members and friends, how it impacts blah blah blah. How does staying in an unhappy, oftentimes devoid of emotions and loveless relationship, sometimes in a volatile and extremely hostile environment, do any good for anybody? Actually, what does it do to you?
That is where my motto, “Nothing Says a Good Day Like A Divorce” comes in. Recently, I posted my magnet stating, “Nothing Says a Good Day Like a Divorce” on social media asking if anyone wanted one. One of my friends commented, “that slogan makes me sad”. Oftentimes when I tell people my motto they laugh thinking I am just being funny or it’s one of those lawyer jokes. While divorce is my bread and butter, so to say, and one must find a bit of humor in everything they do to stay sane, I want to be clear that my motto is neither sad nor a laughing matter. I responded to her comment with the following:
“Why?! If you are miserable in a marriage, everyone suffers. If you are the victim of domestic violence or things just are not going right- then Nothing Says a Good Day Like a Divorce if you are represented by me! I make sure your future is secure, your kids are ok, you are safe and it’s all good! There is a lot of stigma and shame surrounding divorce still and that is wrong. It’s like any other choice in life you make – if you made a mistake you are allowed to change your mind and celebrate your new beginning!”
If you are reading this blog because YOU have chosen to fix your mistake, or simply leave something that no longer makes you happy, or you have summoned up all of your courage and strength to escape an abusive relationship, or you are protecting yourself and your children from an unhappy home, or you simply wish for more excitement, your own space, your chance to start over and go on an adventure that your spouse does not support. Whatever your reasons are – I applaud you. There is enough negativity in this world without worrying about the negativity associated with divorce. Therefore, your goal should be that at the end of the divorce process you are jumping up and down like Tom Cruise on that couch (or on whatever you choose) screaming Nothing Says a Good Day Like A Divorce.
However. There is always a BUT, right? To get to that place you must prepare. The divorce process, or any Family Court process, as a legal process, is hard. There is no sugarcoating it. If you want the reality of it then you are reading the right blog. You will not get any sugarcoated, lets hold hands and sing kumbaya, warm and fuzzy mantras from me. While neither I, nor any other attorney and/or professional regardless of their experience, length of time practicing, or any of their other stunning qualifications can predict the outcome of your divorce and/or give you that miracle magic way to get 100% of what you want and/or desire in your divorce, what I can give you is the gift of preparation and knowledge.
I hope to arm you with knowledge and empower you to proceed with confidence so that you too can say Nothing Says a Good Day Like a Divorce.